Badge of Courage. For a Toddler. - Brenda Anderson

She tripped over her just-a-little-too-big sparkly shoes and hit the pavement right in front of me.  Normally, she’s initially stunned and frozen but if I don’t make a big deal about it, neither will she.  She’s able to shake it off, get up and reassure me with an, “I’m okay!”

Not today.

Today the momentum of her fall skidded her leg across the rough sidewalk.  “Momma!” she cried and I rushed to her.  I put her in my lap.  Her little leg was bent up, her little hands covering her knee.  I peeled back her little fingers and crimson red appeared immediately on her quarter-sized wound (which is a lot of surface area on a knee so small).  Yep, she scraped it bad enough to draw blood.

Of course, when my little girl saw that, her hysterics went into overdrive.  The hands immediately clamped back down over the knee and her chanting of “It hurts!  It hurts!” could be heard across the land.

I cradled and coddled till her cries lessened in volume, telling her we have to go get a tissue to wipe the blood.  As I carried her, like a new bride being carried over the threshold, she flopped her head back and wailed with a mouth as wide as a yawning hippo.  We made it to the tissue box where I spent more than a minute trying to convince the child to remove her hands so I can see the wound.

“Please move your hands.  I need to see how big the scrape is.  We have to wipe it and your hands with the tissue.”

“Nooooooo!  It hurts!  Owie, ow, ow!”  {wah, wah, wah}

“C’mon on now, it’s not good for your scrape to have your hands holding it because your hands are dirty too.”

“Nooo Mooommmyyy, nooooo!”  {wah, wah, wah}

And back and forth our conversation went like this.

Until I said, “Let’s put a Bandaid on your scrape.”

The crying stopped.  She lifted her head.  “A Bandaid?  To make me feel better?” she sniffled.

“Yes.”  I opened the bathroom drawer and pulled out a plain brown one.  Her eyes widened at the sight of it.  “Oh no, Momma, that’s not a good one,” she said, shaking her head.  “That’s yours.  I need a Dora Bandaid.”

But of course.

So off we went to find the perfect Dora the Explorer Bandaid.  After one had been carefully selected from the 4 different choices in the box, it was applied as gently and carefully as humanly possible ( “Don’t touch my scrape, Momma, don’t touch iiiiiiitttttt!” ).

We cleaned up the wrappers together and I gave her face a final tissue wipe.  Kissing the top of her head I said, “There, all better.  Thank you for helping me put on the Bandaid.  You were very brave.”

“I know, Momma.  So were you.”

 

About the author:

Brenda is the wife and mom in a family with 3 kids - her two oldest boys and her little girl.  These are her stories.

Public Place Behaviour

Today I was sitting in an office meeting at a real estate company and a woman came in with her son who was probably 4-5 years old. He was a sweet energetic young boy. However, his mother just seemed exasperated by life and his every energetic movement just pushed her closer to that point. She continued to become more frustrated and he continued his energetic actions and exploration. 

Her overall exasperation could have been prevented by communicating with her child in an age appropriate manner. There are a few simple steps to follow in order to limit if not completely prevent certain naughty behaviour while you are out and about. Also remember most everyone on this planet has 

1. Talk with your child frequently about what is appropriate behavior and explaining behaviours that you do on a daily basis. I.e. at dinner time tell your child why you put your napkin in your lap, why you do not talk with your mouth full, and why you take you dishes to the sink after you finish eating. Explaining these things may seem silly but telling your child and allowing them to see you partake in the same activities day after day will instill the same behaviour in them and prevent a daily battle as it will just become a habit for your child.
2. Before entering a public or professional place talk with your child about how they should behave. Tell your child, "we are entering a place where people are working like your siblings school. They are trying to focus and we need to be quiet and behave nice so they can finish their work and make their boss happy like your sibling does for their teacher. Do you think we can make it easier for them by being on our best behaviour?" (Putting it into terms your child understands will allow them to see you are not just saying no but rather giving them the knowledge and reasoning behind why they can't go ask every person in the office if they want to play cars.  Doing so you will earn your child's respect and in turn they will behave as you asked because you explained the logic to them.) Granted your child may need a reminder as we are not perfect. However, your child will feel as though you respected them and are treating them like an adult rather than just brushing them off for being young or thinking that they can not understand the logic behind public places behaviour. 
3. Praise your child in the moment for their awesome behavior. Express your joy and happiness for a job well done. Positive reinforcement is great for encouragement and also a preventative to discipline issues. Children would prefer positive comments and encouragement from you and will continue the behaviour that earns them this praise.
4. Find little rewards to give your child for their good behaviour such as a couple extra minutes of watching their show, spending the night at a friends house, being able to eat their favorite meal for dinner. Make sure to reiterate when your child is experiencing their reward why they received it. Let your child know that they earned this reward from their awesome behavior and that when they act good they will be rewarded which is always better than the alternative. This will instill good behavior in your child and also meet their needs for attention through the attention they are receiving for their great behavior.

Tips for Nannies going on an interview with a family

How do I show the family what an awesome nanny I am and what an asset I can be to their family?

This is a thought that runs across most nannies minds the days and hours before an interview with a new family. Remember no matter how your previous position ended this is a new opportunity and a new day. Leave your past in the past and take the step forward.

When scheduling the interview ask the parent what is the easiest time for them to meet. When you are agreeing to a day make sure that you have plenty of time before and after the interview. Never squeeze an interview into a time where you will be in a rush or unable to stay longer and meet the children etc. 

It is important to be over prepared for your interview. What I mean by over prepared is to have your resume, reference letters, certifications, and other 

The day before your interview

• Pick out an appropriate outfit. Air on the side of conservative and something that you would like a nanny to show up in if she was interviewing with you. Choose a top that does not show cleavage and is loose fitting. For your bottoms choose a pair of pants or longer skirt that are loose fitting. When you choose shoes ballet flats are a great idea because they look nice and if you have a meet and great with the children you will have your full mobility.
• Print out your: resume, reference letters, certifications, accreditations, honors, and any other things 
• Print out or Google directions to the location of the interview. Figure out when you need to leave in order to be there on time and then plan on leaving 15 minutes+ before that time in order to ensure that you are on time and hopefully early for your interview.
• Create a checklist of what you need to do and have the next day before you leave for your interview: Get dressed, do hair, apply natural looking make up, interview clothes, turn my cell phone on silent, resume and other paperwork for the family.
• Call or text to confirm the interview date and time.

The day of your interview

• Start getting ready 30 minutes to 1 hour before you need to to make sure that if something goes wrong you will still not run the risk of running late.
• Leave 15-30 minutes early to ensure you are on time if not early. 
• Turn you cell phone on silent when you leave home or before you walk in to your interview. 
• Give yourself a pep talk before the interview. You deserve this! You have worked hard to get where you are in your life! Be confident in yourself you will have a great interview!

During your interview

• Never look at your phone or watch. 
• Look your interviewer in the eye.
• Answer the questions thoroughly but do not ask if that was the right answer or if you are doing well. Those questions makes you appear unsure and inexperienced.
• Make sure that you enlighten the interviewer in a kind but not boastful way about your skills and what an asset you can be to their family. 
• Once the interviewer has asked you all of the questions that they have for you ask questions about the potential job. Ask about the children, ages, interests, personalities, etc. 
• Do not be scared to show your passion in your interview. Show your passion for children, caring for them, creating fun activities for them, and helping them grow and develop!
• Ask if they have any other questions for you or if there is anything else that they would like to know about you.
• Thank them for their time and for considering you. 

It is best to write a handwritten thank you note if you have the family's home address. The note should thank them for their time, considering you, and the opportunity to interview with them. If you do not have a home address you can call and leave a voice mail. Do this even if you did not get the job because it shows that you are classy and mature and while you may not be the right fit with their family the impression that you just made may make them refer a friend to you. If you do get the job still write a thank you note for the opportunity. Never underestimate the value and appreciation of a hand written note!

Lastly be genuine! If you do not think you are the right fit for the family be honest and say so in a kind way or let the agency you are working with know! Never accept a job where you do not care for the children or family that is putting you at a liability and the children in danger! Your right family will come along but it may take a couple interviews be patient and happy!

Tips for Parents interviewing Nannies

Interviewing nannies can be difficult and stressful process because you are trying to pick the best candidate to care for your child and you want to make sure you make the correct decision.

The first thing to remember is be easy on yourself. Acknowledge and let go of the stress, remember you are in control of the situation and in charge of choosing the nanny. Trust your maternal and gut instincts. However, do not confuse instincts with being judgmental. Never judge a nanny based on what you think they are before you sit down and chat with them. Each nanny is different in her experiences, beliefs, discipline techniques, and overall personality and there is one that is a fantastic fit for your family! So remember, you are in charge and you have the maternal and instinctual skills to choose the best candidate for your family.

Important questions to ask:

• Why have you chosen to be a nanny?
• What are some things that you love about being a nanny?
• What are your strengths? How do you think those help you in caring for children?
• What are your weaknesses? Do they effect you ability to be an excellent nanny?
• Are you comfortable driving the children to sports, school, activities, etc?
• Are you able to swim?
• Do you have any life threatening allergies that we should be aware of?
• Would you be ok with staying home with my children if they are sick or unable to attend school?
• What is your availability?
• Do you have any days that you must have off or upcoming plans that you would need days off for (i.e. vacations, a wedding, funeral, etc?)
• Do you have children? What are their ages? What would your plan be if your child falls ill and is unable to go to their summer camp or school?
• How would you handle my child if they stated to have a temper tantrum while you are out? Would you handle the situation differently if you were at home? How so?
• What are your discipline methods?
• Would you feel comfortable adhering to our house rules and discipline methods?
• What do you typically wear to work?
• Are you able to make and within reason adhere to a daily schedule for the child?
• Do you consider yourself an organized person? Can you give me an example?
• Do you plan things out or wait until the last minute to complete tasks and assignments?

Other important questions to ask if they apply to your family

• Are you comfortable with pets?
• Would you be willing to travel with us?
• Are you comfortable travelling domestically and internationally?
• Are you comfortable taking a child around a city you are unfamiliar with to go to museums, sports, activities, etc?
• Do you get motion sick?
• Are you comfortable going to church with us?
• Are you comfortable signing a confidentiality agreement?
• Would you be able to use an epi pen if my child is going into anaphylactic shock?
• Are you comfortable teaching our child about our religion and beliefs?
• What is your college degree in?
• Are you able to teach our child.... (list out things you would like the nanny to teach your child i.e. abc's, numbers, how to add and subtract, reading, etc.)
• Are you able to adhere to our house rules, dress code/ uniform requirements?

Next ask the nanny if she has any questions for you about you, the children, the job, requirements, etc. Engage the nanny in a conversation. Ask where she was raised, what her parents do, etc. It is important for you to feel comfortable and as though you can work with and trust her. The nanny could look fantastic on paper and interview like a pro but if her personality and yours do not mix then she is not the right nanny for your family.

Remember while you want to know as much as possible about a nanny and her experience, why she left previous jobs, etc you need to remember that she is a person with feelings. She has loved and cared about each of her previous charges so you may ask about her jobs, tasks included, and skills that she believes she would bring to your family but do not ask which child or family was her favorite or least favorite. I say this because like you love each of your children in different ways for their differences nannies love their previous charges a similar way. Asking that question could make the nanny uncomfortable or awkward and honestly that information does not have anything to do with the nanny that she could be with your family.

Lastly, remember we are always here for you to help you with all of your childcare needs. Give us a call if you need help or have questions about how to properly interview a nanny! Your domestic bliss is our main priority! Give us a call at 904-471-1500 or 561-371-1067.

Baby wigs?!

In my recent move to West Palm Beach I spent a lot of time in the car and continued to hear about some wig made for babies to give them a full head of hair and luscious bangs. I chuckled to myself and could only imagine some wig like those of Kim Zolciak on The Real Housewives of Atlanta on a little one. 

Then this morning I had the CBS morning news on in my new West Palm Beach apartment and much to my surprise and shock I see a picture of this wig and that babies that are sporting the "fashion". Granted I am of the belief that it is better to keep things as close to nature as possible including diet, skin care, workouts, clothes, etc so maybe I am alone in my beliefs that this is silly. But really baby wigs?

Here are some reasons that I discourage this idea and think that it should be chastised rather than celebrated. 

• I can honestly say in all the years of nannying and running this company one of my absolute favorite things are babies. They are amazing little blessings! They are growing, learning, and observing at incredible rates. But I think everyone can agree that one specific thing about babies is amazing .... that smell that beautiful luscious smell of an infants head. There are few things in the world so pure and natural that invoke such a response in everyone who smells it. Part of that feeling and love for the smell of an infants head probably correlates to your own memories be it children, grandchildren, etc. I think it is a crime to put a wig on an infant and cover up such a beautiful thing.
• On the body image side of this babies have been fairly untouched by the media and stereotypes. Please let's work to keep infanthood a sacred time of innocent new life. Let's work to not let the media and this individual take away that new little wiggle worm who loves the feeling of being held, enjoys a bottle a couple times a day, and grants you the opportunity to clean up after them ;). Let's not tarnish new motherhood with images of how babies should look, what they should wear, etc. 
• Becoming a mother is DIFFICULT! You have carried this child for months, prepared for them to arrive, worried about education and who will care for the in their early years, the child's religion, baptism, your birth plan, who will be in the room... and the list is endless. Now we are making moms nervous about their child's looks? Shame on the media for this! New mommyhood should be about bonding and spending a precious time with your new child with limited interruptions from outside things. 
• Lastly, what are the long term effect of putting a wig on your baby's head? I know plenty of babies that were born naked as a jay bird hair wise then developed the most gorgeous head of hair. We do not know the long term effects of using this and why tarnish the perfect head of a new born baby! 

Let's keep infanthood sacred! Keep it is a beautiful time where people are brought together by new life. By the celebration of a child made from love. While every baby conceived is not intentional nor planned they are always blessing that are amazing, beautiful, and full of joy. Let's not let the media and world take away the beautiful time of infanthood! Stand up for your baby's head be it bald, full of hair, or somewhere between the two!